Alarming Trends - Steve
I came across this blog post tonight. It talks about sexual trends in middle school. It's alarming. My kids are only 8 short years from middle school. Yours may be there now, or about to enter. Maybe yours are in high school or college. I guarantee if they are, the numbers are not better.
The two questions at the end of the post brought up some real holy discontent in my heart that have been there for a long time.
I started my ministry career (like many people) in youth ministry. When I was a youth pastor, I completely bought the lie that in order to have a successful youth ministry, I had to have the best programs, be the craziest guy in town, act like a middle school most of the time to be accepted, and I spent my time preparing all kinds of crazy games and exercises. If I was honest, I spent more time preparing for the games than I did the message I would need to deliver. And guess what?--the ministry was a fun place. It was also a place that people came to--because it was fun.
That, in itself, is not a bad thing. The problem is that, much like many contemporary churches, what was attracting the kids was the programming... they came for the fun. The serious stuff was seen as a necessary evil, and it was generally stomached well--it was the admission fee for the fun, so to speak.
I am absolutely convinced that what young people need today is to be loved and respected enough to be spoken to honestly and seriously about the issues they are dealing with. It's funny--the best moments... the most impacting times in my youth min career were not times that a young person came to me because i was the funniest guy. They were the timess that a young person came to me because they knew I spoke to them honestly, and they spoke to me in kind.
All this to say two things:
- parents... act like parents. talk to your kids about stuff that matters. Instead of flipping out over idiotic matters, show your kids love by truthfully, honestly, lovingly talking to them like you respect them. they need to be heard--and to know that home is a place that is safe. by the way--you are the ones called to have the tough conversations... the youth pastor is a help--not a substitute.
- youth pastors... please... don't make the central piece of your ministry how fun you are. at the end of the day the students will lose respect for a 30 year old who acts like he's 13. they want to hear truth from you--bluntly--honestly. games are fun, but they are not the main event. get more excited about Jesus than chubby bunny.
besides... chubby bunny kills... Jesus saves.
PS - if you're a young guy who preys on these girls in the survey, or a young girl who sleeps around to get what she wants--it will catch up. there is a great price to pay. when the bill comes due, or hopefully before it does... reach out to someone. you may think you're above consequences... but so did that friend of yours who is raising a child alone at 15 years old... or that other friend who hopes no girl or guy will ever find out about their medical condition.
There is hope in Jesus. Even if you've fallen.